Comfort Levels...
I got inspired to do this post after reading the Vengeance post on BC page.
The Break Up
Man, I am sure we all can relate to this one. It’s a subject that is often talked about on many talk shows, reality shows, and hell even in the movies (i.e. Breakin All The Rules)
Anyone who has been in love knows that breaking up can truly be a hard thing to do sometimes. Not to omit the obvious reasons for this such as love, companionship, deep rooted emotions, but there are several other factors that come into play when that awful time comes. One of the main ones that jump out in my mind is the comfort level that tends to come when you have been with a person for so long. You all know what I am talking about. The comfort level that I am talking about is the one that allows you to be totally yourself around that other person. You know you can talk to them about ANYTHING and they won’t look at you like you are some kind of freak of nature. That comfort level that allows your mate to come in the bathroom with you when you are ‘pinching a loaf’...LOL And by the way, you KNOW that is true love when a mufucka can come in the bathroom with you when you are handling that business..ROFL!!
It can be hard to leave those comfort levels that sometimes take a while to establish. I think that is one of the main reasons breaking up can be so hard to do. Now different people handle breaking up in different ways. For some the initial shock of it can be devastating, so devastating that they want to end their own life, which I think is only an outcry for some other deep rooted psychological problems. I don’t know about you guys, but taking my own life because another person didn’t want to be with me?!?! WTF!! First of all I have a daughter to live for and I place her first in damn near everything I do so suicide is DEFINITELY not an option for me.
I think after the initial shock is absorbed, then comes the withdrawal symptoms. The regular routine that you have developed with that person is all of a sudden interrupted and it’s like you have to start finding shit to compensate for that adjustment to your regular pattern. The calling just to say “ I love you” all of a sudden stops. The little notes you are accustomed to finding in random places from said person all of a sudden stop showing up. The flowers at work on a damn Tuesday for no apparent reason, outta there. The having someone to curl up to on those Blockbuster nights seem to seize and desist…
*Excuse me ya’ll, I feel a tear welling up…*sniff, sniff*
But for real though, after the withdrawal symptoms subside and the realization that its really a done deal between you two, then comes the whole ritual of entering the dating scene again. Now this shit can be a trip. I personally consider myself a decent looking brother and meeting women has never really be a problem for me, but its always awkward when you meet a new person for the first time. Now me myself, I am very down to earth and straight forward on a lot of things so a lot of times my personality wins me kudos with women. I love to laugh and usually try to break the ice with something humorous. But the whole concept of getting to know a “new” person can be cumbersome to say the least. I mean it’s like starting from scratch and sometimes your expectations from that previous relationship tend to carry over and you start expecting this new person to be the same way that old person was with you. Which may or may not lead to problems.
I don’t know ya’ll…it’s a trip, the whole dating, and relationship thing. That’s why DaKelzz will more than likely be flying solo until that right person comes along to get me caught up in the rapture…LOL
…..I’m out…
The Break Up
Man, I am sure we all can relate to this one. It’s a subject that is often talked about on many talk shows, reality shows, and hell even in the movies (i.e. Breakin All The Rules)
Anyone who has been in love knows that breaking up can truly be a hard thing to do sometimes. Not to omit the obvious reasons for this such as love, companionship, deep rooted emotions, but there are several other factors that come into play when that awful time comes. One of the main ones that jump out in my mind is the comfort level that tends to come when you have been with a person for so long. You all know what I am talking about. The comfort level that I am talking about is the one that allows you to be totally yourself around that other person. You know you can talk to them about ANYTHING and they won’t look at you like you are some kind of freak of nature. That comfort level that allows your mate to come in the bathroom with you when you are ‘pinching a loaf’...LOL And by the way, you KNOW that is true love when a mufucka can come in the bathroom with you when you are handling that business..ROFL!!
It can be hard to leave those comfort levels that sometimes take a while to establish. I think that is one of the main reasons breaking up can be so hard to do. Now different people handle breaking up in different ways. For some the initial shock of it can be devastating, so devastating that they want to end their own life, which I think is only an outcry for some other deep rooted psychological problems. I don’t know about you guys, but taking my own life because another person didn’t want to be with me?!?! WTF!! First of all I have a daughter to live for and I place her first in damn near everything I do so suicide is DEFINITELY not an option for me.
I think after the initial shock is absorbed, then comes the withdrawal symptoms. The regular routine that you have developed with that person is all of a sudden interrupted and it’s like you have to start finding shit to compensate for that adjustment to your regular pattern. The calling just to say “ I love you” all of a sudden stops. The little notes you are accustomed to finding in random places from said person all of a sudden stop showing up. The flowers at work on a damn Tuesday for no apparent reason, outta there. The having someone to curl up to on those Blockbuster nights seem to seize and desist…
*Excuse me ya’ll, I feel a tear welling up…*sniff, sniff*
But for real though, after the withdrawal symptoms subside and the realization that its really a done deal between you two, then comes the whole ritual of entering the dating scene again. Now this shit can be a trip. I personally consider myself a decent looking brother and meeting women has never really be a problem for me, but its always awkward when you meet a new person for the first time. Now me myself, I am very down to earth and straight forward on a lot of things so a lot of times my personality wins me kudos with women. I love to laugh and usually try to break the ice with something humorous. But the whole concept of getting to know a “new” person can be cumbersome to say the least. I mean it’s like starting from scratch and sometimes your expectations from that previous relationship tend to carry over and you start expecting this new person to be the same way that old person was with you. Which may or may not lead to problems.
I don’t know ya’ll…it’s a trip, the whole dating, and relationship thing. That’s why DaKelzz will more than likely be flying solo until that right person comes along to get me caught up in the rapture…LOL
…..I’m out…
posted by DaKelzz | 1/19/2005 09:45:00 AM
7 Comments:
Breaking up usually isn't easy. I try to keep this quote in mind "Don't cry because it's over. . .smile because it happened." However I've been in some seriously BAD relationships where that was reversed and I cried because it happened and smiled because it was FINALLY over. LOL
yes, breakin up defn sucks. especially when it's with a person that you've reached that level of comfort with when you can do damn near anything. i still don't know about the taking a dump part, i was with my ex for 5 years, and we still didn't get there! lol
You know... i feel you on the whole breaking up thing...but after this past year, I actually would kinda even welcome that. These cats i've been messing with lately don't even give me the curtesy of closure..it's like one day, we cool...and the next, i don't ever hear from them again. lol. I'm like WTF? At least gimme something...say it ain't workin or something! lol.
And that being comfortable really around a person thing IS so hard to find and takes so long to achieve. In my opinion, when you're really that close to someone, even a breakup won't take that away. Sure, at first you might feel akward, but after the emotions die down or whatnot...i found that we can still be just as comfortable with each other. Heck...my ex still calls me when he's "handling his business"...and he's married. lol hahaha.
*thinking...hmmm,that CAN'T be healthy* lol
@ Shana:
I totally agree with you on that. Some things just aren't meant to last and after that inital hurt subsides...you are relieved that its over...LOl
@ Sivad
....see you ain't never REALLY been in love with somebody if haven't came in while they were taking care of business...LMBAO!!
@ Sway
...yeah, that is some shady shit, to just NOT call back..but I think that part just comes with time...all it takes is to have a damn stalker on your hands for you to realize that leaving with closure is always the best policy.
lol @ Shana.
I think people stay together for the comfort thing too much. There's better reasons than wanting to be with someone than that.
It's hard though. Of course, my past couple relationships have been long distance so I don't miss that day-to-day stuff as much as I would if we saw each other all the time.
Relationships are hard, breaking up is even harder. To me the key is respect what you had, by respecting what you have. Be it a friendship or if you decide not to talk anymore. If you do that, then you can look back with fond memories and not bitterness. It's all a learning experience.
Dating is the worst! A guy called me today wanting to go out. He says that I never call him. If that's the case, why is he still calling me? Then he had the nerve to block his number today and when I said who is this, he gave a different name. I don't have time to play games. He said oh I didn't tell you that name... what about *Shabba*. Now I'm thinking what is going on with him blocking numbers and using different names and he wonder why I don't make time to go out with him. First of all he is CHILDISH!!! We are a tad bit too old for that.
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